Hint: if there is one thing dietitians aren’t, it’s the food police.
1. They start to justify everything they’re eating when you’re around.
Nothing cracks me up more than people who all but lose their minds whenever I’m around to observe what they’re eating. I kid you not, people act like they’re on trial for murder or something. I sit down at the table, or even just stroll by minding my own business, and out of nowhere they’re blurting out a 24-hr diet recall and listing 372 reasons why “this isn’t how they normally eat.” It doesn’t matter if what they are eating is plain, organic kale that is so fresh that it still has dirt on it, or a tower of donuts. As soon as people learn that I’m a dietitian, they assume that also means I’m the food police. Here’s what I’m thinking when this happens:
- Please throw that f’ing kale away, or at least add some dressing.
OR
2. When are you going to offer me a donut?
Okay but seriously. Actually, no. I AM serious about sharing anything tasty. Joking about the kale, though. You do you.
But also, I’m not judging what you’re eating. I promise. Oh, and stop labeling food as “good” and “bad” (unless the “bad” food is anything with dirt on it). Give yourself a break.
2. They watch what YOU eat.
Want to know what judgement feels like? Be the dietitian who always brings dessert to a pitch-in.
“You probably won’t eat this, right?”
“Oh, but are those REAL brownies?”
“This cheesecake doesn’t have any calories, right?”
I will always laugh politely when I get these comments as if I haven’t heard them 200 times. That’s because I’m not an asshole.
However, please know this: I am a real, live human.
Yes, I sometimes eat cookies/brownies/cheesecake. Also, what are “fake” brownies? Yes, cheesecake contains calories. I love to bake and I bring this stuff to pitch-ins so it doesn’t sit in my house to be eaten solely by my husband and I (although he would prefer to keep it all to himself, I’m sure).
I’ll admit, there have been times that I have been self-conscious of what I’m ordering at a restaurant because I’m afraid of judgement from whoever is with me. There have also been times that I have decided not to post a picture on Instagram of something “unhealthy” that I’m making in fear of judgement BECAUSE people know what I do for a living.
And then I woke the heck up.
I push the idea of balance in my practice because I believe it and I live it. If I want to make brownies then I’m going to make brownies. I might even rock your world and combine cheesecake AND brownies. I don’t do this every day, and I will probably give half to family or coworkers. The RD after my name does not put a bubble around me that prohibits all cravings for tacos, pizza and macaroni and cheese. While I do love a good cauliflower crust pizza, sometimes you just need the real thing. Live your life. I am mindful of portion sizes, I’m active, and I also love me some fruits and veggies. Balance, people.
3. They assume you can just pull meal plans out of nowhere.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves. If you have asked me for a “meal plan,” I still love you. That being said, in most instances, I hate meal plans with every ounce of my food-loving soul. Before I get too far onto my soap box, please know that there is a place for meal plans. That place being for people with medical conditions which require a tighter diet. I understand that people want to make “healthy” eating “easier,” but me writing out a 7, 14, or even 100-day meal plan for you won’t work. Why? In short, it isn’t sustainable. Sure, I can “plan” for you to eat salmon, steamed broccoli and quinoa for lunch, but what happens when someone asks you out for lunch? Or when everyone in the office is ordering Jimmy Johns? Or when it’s Christmas? Or when you are just SO F’ING TIRED OF SALMON?!
I’ll sum my thoughts up with a good ol’ Chinese Proverb:
“Give a man fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”
You’ve heard it. No need to explain.
4. They get excited to ask you about whatever diet fad is currently popular.
Fat-melting, sugar-busting, waist-shrinking, super this that and the other. Etc. Etc. You name it, and I’ll bet you I’ve been asked about it.
This one I don’t mind as much because:
- I’m happy that you’re asking the opinion of a nutrition professional (and NOT treating everything that comes from Dr. Oz as gospel).
- It keeps ME in the loop of what is current in diet culture. It’s hard to keep up!
- Sometimes it gives me a good laugh.
What I (and I think many dietitians) want you to know is this: Eating is simple. Nutrition for generally healthy people is simple (its true). Diet culture though, is extremely influential. I would even argue that diet culture is toxic, because of the way it has portrayed eating as such a complicated task. Don’t be afraid to ask me about the fat melting milkshake or the pill that gives you 100 days’ worth of veggies you heard about on that infomercial this morning (remember the no judgement thing?) Just don’t be surprised if I shut those diets or products down every. single. time.
5. They assume that weight loss is all you “do.”
Far from it, actually.
If we’re being real here, I very rarely “do” weight loss. My clinical job as a dietitian involves working with dialysis patients, which actually requires me to make sure patients don’t lose weight in many instances. I interpret lab values, fluid status and troubleshoot how to increase intake for wound healing, and when patients experience decreased appetite. I work with physicians, nurses, social workers, pharmacists and speech pathologists daily. I calculate/recommend tube feedings, assess for malnutrition and vitamin/mineral deficiencies, and keep an eye out for food-medication interaction. And that’s just me. Dietitians “do” a lot more than weight loss. In fact, when someone approaches me to “help them lose weight,” it throws me off a little because its not something I “do” often at all.
Dietitian friends – what do you agree with these or have anything to add?
Other friends – Have you noticed anything funny that people tend to say/do when they learn what you do for a living?
